Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Orwellian Society: An Unfortunate and Imminent Danger

For the past few years I've been hearing the term "Orwellian Society" being thrown about. Many people would swear that fiction has become a reality, but for the longest time, I didn't see it. "Look around you, Chiz," they would incessantly plea." The signs are everywhere." Yet, clergymen are a dying breed, so their daughters are far fewer. And I fail to comprehend how sociological and political studies of Europe in the 30s and 40s can have a direct impact on our lives in present day US.

I've probably met this man before, but I wouldn't
remember him. (Image Source)

Looking back on my ignorance makes me shutter, for now I realize I was looking in all the wrong places. It wasn't until I moved to my new residence that I finally realize what everyone was on about. I finally saw the truth.

When I first moved to my new town, I started encountering strange occurrences. Ducks, goats, and pigs, all coexisting within the same fenced in areas. Sharing food and partaking in their fair share of work around the surrounding farms. Those furry, cow-pie eating communists!

Conspirators and crooks engaging in 
inter-specie plots. (Image Source)

Pass a scene like that more than once, and you know something frightening has to be in the works. Yet, I chose to revel in the comfort of my ignorance than to face the fact: Farm animals were building their own self-governed utopia. 

Several more days passed, and the same scene unraveled itself before me. It wasn't until I saw something truly disturbing that I decided to take action.

One of the leaders, no doubt.

The Animal Farm was gaining momentum. It wasn't long before I stumble upon a new circular foundation just beside their pen. It hadn't been there before. Perhaps a windmill in the works? These bare-dinked communimals were trying to establish their own electric grid!

I acted fast, employing the town's farmer, butcher, and three and a half dogs from the animal shelter to wage war on the Animal Farm. When we laid siege upon the farm, the three dogs ran off into the woods and the half-of-a-dog was apparently already dead when we picked him up from the shelter. Needless to say, the siege was less than successful. The three of us barely breached the pen before getting, like, a ton of splinters from the untreated fence, forcing us into a premature retreat.

If you're interested in helping us put a stop to the advancing communimals, meet us Wednesday at 6:00 p.m. at the Applebee's off of Route 1. Leave your pitchforks in the car though. We're banned from the Outback Steakhouse because Larry thought his licence-to-carry permit applied to farm tools, as well.

Update: Hey sorry for my absence as of late. I recently moved to a new place (I was kicked out of my condo when the documents that said I could have a dog were apparently false). My commutes a tad bit longer which leaves less time for writing. I've been putting a lot of work into my WIP. I'm about 50k words into the first draft, which doesn't seem like much, but I've restarted several times. Also, I got a writing gig with the local newspaper. Doesn't pay much, but it's cool to get paid for writing, regardless. Hmm... there's got to be more excuses than that... Nope. Damn, I'm lazy. I'll try to focus on this blog more and hopefully catch up with all the blogs that I enjoy.


  1. I don't know whether I'm supposed to admit this, but "Keep the Aspidistra Flying" is the only Orwell book I have ever read. So when people say "Orwellian," I always assume they mean that everyone is voluntarily impoverished.

    Which is fine, sure, but not as scary as if people said this was becoming a dystopia. I've read "Brave New World." That can be scary stuff...

    (Good to see you around!)

    1. I probably wouldn't have read any of Orwell's works if it wasn't for school. I haven't even read "1984", but I've have enough people explain the plot to me that I feel like I can continue to go on without reading the book.

      "Brave New World" was a great book. That one I actually read without being prompted to do so by an English teacher.

      Thanks, Katy! I'm going to head over to your blog in a bit, and see what I missed.

  2. I'm interested in meeting up, but can we eat first BEFORE we fight communimals? I could really use a dry, generic piece of chicken, some fries, and an overpriced cocktail before we do this.

    I've not read any Orwell. I feel like I should. But whenever anyone says that the world is going to shit I just point them toward Idiocracy.

    Oh, and yes, good to see you around! Also to hear that you've got 50k on a WIP. That's badass.

    P.S. Fun fact, we used to have a gig with the local newspaper, and got to interview Brian "Cro-Magnon" Shaw, who won the 2011/2013 World's Strongest Man competition. He's from our home town, and the paper wanted a story, so we interviewed him... we later found out he was furious because the story we wrote made him look stupid. The problem? We didn't alter it or try to make him look bad. He's just really that dumb.

    Needless to say, he still holds a grudge over it, and if he ever sees us again he'll probably try to bend us into pretzels. Worry not, we have an escape plan. We're just going to shout, "Hey look over there! Boobs!" And while he's distracted for 15 or so minutes we'll just casually walk away.

    1. Having worked at Applebee's, I resent that comment! The microwaves we used to cook the chicken were made to trap in the moisture!

      Yeah, if not prompted to do so by my English professors, I never would have read any of Orwell's novels either. Hopefully enough people know about Animal Farm to get the post. It's basically Babe with a capitalist and communist twist.

      And that's the best photograph that Wikipedia could come up with for Brian "Cro-Magnon" Shaw? He's definitely not helping his public image by looking like that.

      Thanks for the continued support, guys!

  3. Despite my natural, human aversion to Applebee's, I will send a proxy to the meeting tomorrow at 6, to whom I promised a blooming onion...hopefully I didn't goof on the chain eateries.

    1. They only have the withering onion at Applebee's, unfortunately. The microwave doesn't do much in the way of keeping its shape and crispiness.

  4. Good to read your stuff again, Chiz. I've always marvelled at your warped way of construing the world. And congratulation on your paid writing job; there's not many of them around.

    1. Thanks, Bryan! My absence has only worked in favor of further distorting my mind, hopefully.

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