Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Movie Review of The Blackest Black

From the writer and director that brought you such harrowing blockbusters as The Disquieting Attic and Look Out, She’s About to Scream at the Camera and Did That Doll Just Move?, comes yet another movie that is projected to revolutionize the horror genre. Director Ono del Quatro presents The Blackest Black, a film where you literally won’t see what’s coming next.

Ono del Quatro when he was 14. 

In an interview with Chiz Chat, del Quatro said, “When I attended an audience screening of He’s Actually Dead the Whole Time, I noticed that the audience was only reacting to the jump-scares and loud noises. The scenes I had previously assumed were subtly scary were lost on the viewers. Therefore, in The Blackest Black, I decided to skip the ineffectual nonsense and give the people what they truly want.”

And, boy, did del Quatro deliver. In The Blackest Black, the audience is subjected to a screen of utter blackness. As the viewers are awaiting the opening scene, a sudden thud breaks the silence. The movie continues on using this same method: the screen embraces its constant blackness while loud, intermittent bangs and booms rile the audience into a horrified state.

Opening scene of The Blackest Black.
Here’s a testimony of a content movie-goer: “Man, the blackness of the screen wasn’t all that scary, but the noises, phew, now those got me. At first I thought another bang would come, but it didn’t. Yet, once my guard was down, SHWAH , they got me! Oh ho ho, they got me good!”

A pleased member of the audience.
Audiences and critics everywhere have nothing but praise for The Blackest Black. Weagle and Korgog give it two thumbs “way” up. Rolling Stone calls it, “lyk da most coolest movie with the most scare! I was lyk so friten, I almost pee :)!! lol jk? That seen were da best wen the noice cam!!” And, two stuck-up, cynical critics from LA said, “We wanted to hate it. We wanted to hate it so bad. You know what? We do hate it. We hate it because it’s too good.”

So, come see (or hear, rather) what everyone’s raving about and suffer the utter suspense that’ll leave you clinging to your seat.

10 comments:

  1. "Loud noises terrify me. That particular scene where the screen's still black and all of a sudden you hear the roar of a vacuum cleaner springing to murderous life, followed by the pounding of footsteps? I about pissed myself. Scariest film in decades."

    -my dog

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    1. Ah, wait until he gets to the part with the squeaky toy. It'll drive him insane. He'll nearly break his neck trying to find the source of the sound.

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  2. My heart is still racing from that scene where the screen was dark and the room was silent, followed by a sudden BAMMM!!!....then the sound of footsteps running. I almost ran out of the theater in terror. Two thumbs & four toes up!

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    1. What does del Quatro have to do to get another four toes up? A movie can only be so good.

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  3. I heard del Quatro is already working on a sequel called "The Blacker Blackest Black"

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    1. And, he's completely the trilogy with "The Blackest White".

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  4. Dammit! I've been working on a similar film, but never managed to achieve the blackest black. I could only manage very very very very very very very very very dark blue. All the actors had to be done up in blackface is disguise them onscreen.

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    1. I hear del Quatro had a similar issue. However, with the correct lighting, you can achieve the blackest black, and even a more blacker black, supposedly.

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  5. The tale is a bit too dark for me - I prefer films like The Sound of Music.

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    1. Well, it's essentially a silent movie, just the opposite. It's truly revolutionary.

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