Picture of two assholes fornicating in my cereal (Source).They flooded into our home in droves. The invasion came under the cover of darkness... or our ignorance to details. Nevertheless, the fruit flies occupied our domain and quickly began to flourish. We coexisted for a time, but once they started landing in our beers and shit, we knew something had to be done. It was time to commence an old-fashioned muscacide.
We recruited the adhesive strength of the molasses-like strip trap, the acidic aroma of the liquid trap, and the Electric Lazor Racket 2000. We weren't cutting corners; we positioned these soldiers right in the thick of the action, all at once. Despite their courageous efforts and unrelenting dedication, the flies were just too abundant.*
My roommate and I thought about living side-by-side with the invaders, but as two white males, we were not prepared nor willing to become the minority, especially in our own house. We continued the fight, losing ground everyday. It wasn't until we were forced into a corner that we looked up and discovered the root of our salvation. There, up in the corner of our home, was our solution. A spider.
Yep, this ruthless futha-mucker already had 4 fruit flies entangled in his web. So we decided to recruit more. We returned with a shoebox of spiders and let loose our fearless allies upon the hoard. They made quick work of the fruit flies, ensnaring them in their death webs and draining the blood from their inferior bodies.
(Source)We had our victory and the spiders had their fill. However, we encountered a new problem: There were tons of spiders in our apartment.
I don't know how I'd forgotten about my fear of spiders during the aforementioned escapade, but it was time to think of a new plan. We already new traps wouldn't work; we had first-hand experience of that.
"Frogs," shouted my roommate... and so, frogs it was. They made short work of the spiders, but now our home was infested with frogs. "Nothing a few snakes couldn't take care of, right?"
Well, 27 species later, and we're dealing with a lion and half-a-dozen hyena carcasses in our tiny apartment while trying to figure out a way to fit an elephant through the door.
I'm thinking of making it a pay-per-view event (Source).
I'm open to suggestions if y'all got any. In the meantime, I'm hiring a demo-crew to figure out some way to clear passage for this elephant.
*Those sticky, molasses-like strip traps actually did the trick for those generally interested.