Thursday, January 3, 2013

Just Checking In


Good morning, noon, and evening (and midnight for some of you wild and crazy guys). I’d like to apologize for my disappearance, but I’m not going to. I told you I’d be gone for the holidays; there’s nothing to be sorry about.

H’anyway, I don’t have anything particularly satirical or funny lined up for this post, I’m just going to ramble on a bit until I’m satisfied with your unsatisfaction concerning my senseless post… Are you all still here? Good, because I didn’t mean any of that—except for the “this post will be neither funny nor satirical” part.

I hope you all had a good New Year. I’d like to say that I did, but I came down with a circulating stomach bug that was triggered by—and I’m no doctor—an overabundance of alcohol and board game centered merriment. I came down with the bug the day before New Year’s Eve. I never knew it was possible for someone to expel more vomit than was possible to fit in one’s body (they* should really find a way to turn vomit into a viable source of energy).
*You know. The science people.

The next day arrived (New Year’s Eve for those of you with short attention spans), and I felt a little bit better. Seeing as I already forked up the cash for an open bar and a motel room, there was no way I was going to pass up binge drinking all the beers in the bar.

The night was fun. Booze was had by all. I tore up the dance floor. They called me Lightening Foot Chiz all night. Then I woke up from my dream and went to the bar. In reality, the bar was just as fun. I attempted to tear up the dance floor (I’m fairly certain there’s some videos circulating the web right now of my lightening quick dance moves).

When the bar closed, we got back to the motel with limited hobo interference and passed out.

The next morning we got pancakes and eggs at IHOP. Just kidding! I woke up with the stomach bug all over again (it turns out that it had not quite left my body yet) and commenced yet another day of vomiting and shitting everywhere. But don’t freight, I’m all better now which is why I’m uploading a post today.

Anyway, I thought I’d just check in to let you guys know the blog is still alive. I’ll have something funny or satirical next week. Though, I might be slow on getting things back up and running because my company decided to ring in the new year with a giant project that I have to finish in an impractical amount of time.

But, anyway, Happy New Year everybody!

P.S. Anyone get their paychecks? These tax hikes are killing me! At least you have a job, Chiz! Shh.

24 comments:

  1. Wow, you're quite the amateur drinker. lol The best thing in the morning is a bloody Mary.

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    1. You're preaching to the choir. Bloody Marys are my specialty.

      But I got the stomach bug from my parents who had it earlier in the week. The drinking just set it off.

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  2. I am still trying to to figure out the dream from reality and satire from...ya know, non-satire. Is this the Year Of The Chiz? (Chiz is "monkey" in some language)

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    1. I don't know. I was just trying to get some words up on the site so it didn't seem so bare. I didn't proofread it to make sure I even made sense.

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  3. Wow! Sounds like you went through a dreadful ordeal and I'm glad you're feeling better. I hope 2013 brings you joy and fulfillment. Happy new year.

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    1. Thanks, Stephen. Ah, at least I made it out on New Year's and the night was fun before I was hit by the bug again.

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  4. Just keep partying every weekend in 2013, and it will surely be a good year :)

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    1. Oh, yeah. Though, I might let this weekend slide by in order to make sure the bug is completely out of my system.

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  5. Good luck with the giant project at work. If it involves cyborgs then you have to share. Sorry to hear about the stomach bug but you got better, so yay. Plus you were able to stay together long enough to cut up a dance floor.

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    1. Thanks, Mark! Yeah, it's going quite terrible now (the "project"), but I'll hopefully pull through in the end. But, man did I tear up that dance floor that night.

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  6. So the sluice-gates opened at both ends!

    A lot of D&V about at the moment, but great to hear you managed to have a New Year's Eve celebration.

    Wishing you speedy re-hydration in 2013.

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    1. Thanks, Bryan! The good thing to come out of this is I lost a great deal of weight. The bad thing is I never needed to lose weight to begin with.

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  7. What a way to start the New Year! Sick from a flu and then sickened from your job by a huge project and large tax hikes. Hope you're on the mend.

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    1. Oh, I most certainly am! I'm feeling much better. Just tired for no reason now.

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    2. Just thought I'd check in on you again...

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    3. I'm still alive and kicking. I've just been unble to think of anything to write about recently. Next week I'll definitely have something else.

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  8. Are your blog posts normally funny and/or satirical?

    (Happy New Year!)

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    1. I try. They mostly just come off as hateful and offensive, though.

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  9. Pay... check? What's that?

    Stomach flu is the absolute worst, and it's understandable that you can't be funny when your body is trying to liquefy you at both ends. I'm glad to hear you're better.

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    1. Thanks, ABftS! Yeah, I can be funny at all recently. I think I blew a funny fuse!

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  10. Better get that funny fuse fixed. You wouldn't want to disappoint us, now would you?

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    1. Yeah, I'm crashing pretty hard now. I can't think of anything to write.

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  11. Just checking in to see what I been missin'. I spent the whole month of December 'down for the count'. Happy New Year, about ten days late.

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    1. You haven't been missing much, unfortunately. But, yeah, December and January are busy months for most people so it's understandable if some go MIA.

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