Good morning, noon, and evening (and midnight for some of you wild and crazy guys). I’d like to apologize for my disappearance, but I’m not going to. I told you I’d be gone for the holidays; there’s nothing to be sorry about.
H’anyway, I don’t have anything particularly satirical or funny lined up for this post, I’m just going to ramble on a bit until I’m satisfied with your unsatisfaction concerning my senseless post… Are you all still here? Good, because I didn’t mean any of that—except for the “this post will be neither funny nor satirical” part.
I hope you all had a good New Year. I’d like to say that I did, but I came down with a circulating stomach bug that was triggered by—and I’m no doctor—an overabundance of alcohol and board game centered merriment. I came down with the bug the day before New Year’s Eve. I never knew it was possible for someone to expel more vomit than was possible to fit in one’s body (they* should really find a way to turn vomit into a viable source of energy).
*You know. The science people.
The next day arrived (New Year’s Eve for those of you with short attention spans), and I felt a little bit better. Seeing as I already forked up the cash for an open bar and a motel room, there was no way I was going to pass up binge drinking all the beers in the bar.
The night was fun. Booze was had by all. I tore up the dance floor. They called me Lightening Foot Chiz all night. Then I woke up from my dream and went to the bar. In reality, the bar was just as fun. I attempted to tear up the dance floor (I’m fairly certain there’s some videos circulating the web right now of my lightening quick dance moves).
When the bar closed, we got back to the motel with limited hobo interference and passed out.
The next morning we got pancakes and eggs at IHOP. Just kidding! I woke up with the stomach bug all over again (it turns out that it had not quite left my body yet) and commenced yet another day of vomiting and shitting everywhere. But don’t freight, I’m all better now which is why I’m uploading a post today.
Anyway, I thought I’d just check in to let you guys know the blog is still alive. I’ll have something funny or satirical next week. Though, I might be slow on getting things back up and running because my company decided to ring in the new year with a giant project that I have to finish in an impractical amount of time.
But, anyway, Happy New Year everybody!
P.S. Anyone get their paychecks? These tax hikes are killing me! At least you have a job, Chiz! Shh.