I haven't done one of these in a while, and frankly, I find them quite fun. So, without further adieu, I break my silence and present to you the Liebster Award:
presented to me by none other than the very talented author and blogger,
Chances are, you're all following her blog, but in the off chance you aren't, I urge you to visit Seriously-WTH? and brace for the laughter and that is to follow.
1) If education and salary wasn't an issue and you could have any job in the world, what job would you choose?
I'd choose to be the Illuminati's bookkeeper or secretary. Something that would put me in the know but not necessarily involved in the decision making process. I'd want all of the knowledge but none of the blame.
2) If you had the ability to know what other people really thought about you would you want to?
Yeah, I'd gladly accept that power. It's not that I worry about what people think of me, it's just that this ability would give me a huge leg up in pretty much any profession. "No, Billy, I'm not giving you a promotion because you think I'm a fat dick!"
3)If you could be any other person besides yourself (and don't give me the crap about "I'm happy being me" play the game!!!) who would you be?
Call me crazy, but I'd most like to be President Abraham Lincoln. I know he got assassinated, but he's the greatest president, in my opinion. He did the best with a horrible situation and, though it cost bloodshed, he managed to unite the nation. He is one of the only Presidents that I firmly believe had the peoples' best interests in mind. Plus, he slayed, like, hundreds of vampires.
4) What is the one gift you hope you are going to get for Christmas?
Not to sound like a complete douche, but I want nothing for Christmas. I hate what it has become. It's too commercialized. I'd be happier if it was treated simply as a Thanksgiving Part II--the family getting together to share a meal and engage in conversation. Now it's all about putting ourselves in debt because we'd be considered stingy if we spent anywhere within a reasonable amount of our price range. But, I suppose I wouldn't mind getting some obscure instrument that no one plays so I can pretend to be good at it.
5) What was your biggest "blond" moment?
I've been having a lot of these lately. The most recent was during charades when I got Woodrow Wilson and Winston Churchill mixed up. I kept yelling Woodrow Wilson when my partner was clearly acting out Winston Churchill because I am, in fact, blond.
6) If you could be invisible and be in a room to overhear a conversation (past or present) what would the conversation be (Old love? Watergate? Kennedy Assassination? Snooping on kids?)
I can't exactly single out a conversation. I suppose I like to be a fly on the wall during any of the following: Adolf and Eva suicide, the Trial of Socrates, Truman's decision to drop the bomb, or the pitch and reaction of Hollywood execs to create Teen Wolf Too.
7) Who is your favorite comedian/ humor writer?
My favorite stand-up comedian is Bill Burr, but Louie CK, Brian Reagan, TJ Miller, Aziz Ansari, and Donald Glover are close seconds. I saw Bill Burr live and his ability to make a twenty minute off-topic rant hilarious is pretty incredible. Plus he has an hour podcast up on his website every Monday which I listen to.
8) If you could be a member of the opposite sex for 24 hours what would you do?
Besides the unmentionables, I would totally beat the crap out of some random snooty bitch. If I was a woman, it would be socially acceptable at that point, right? By no means am I'm a woman beater, but that's not to say there are a few out there that I wouldn't mind giving a light slap on the face. Wow, that sounds incredibly hateful, but I'm not going to delete the answer because it's the truth.
9)What is your favorite Christmas movie?
Christmas Vacation by far. I mean, I love A Christmas Story, but Christmas Vacation never fails to deliver laughs.
Actually, a post I recently read on Mark's blog got me thinking about this question a lot. I figured the question would be easy enough to answer, but I suppose it is more complicated than it sounds. I'm a bit self-conscious about my writing (even though I'm contradicting my #2 answer) so I initially used my blog to gauge people's reactions. Now I continue it because I like the community. As much as I'd benefit from taking time away from my blog (i.e. get work done on my WIP), I simply can't bring myself to do it. Plus, I try keeping a personal journal, but it doesn't have the same feel as a blog.
10) I'm stealing this question because I liked it - Why do you blog?
I used to be a rapper named Marky Mark. Nah, I actually thought about this question for 40 minutes and couldn't come up with anything. Ugh, I guess I'm decent at playing the drums. I can play the crap out of a recorder. I sing ridiculously loud when I'm in my car. I have all 50 state quarters. I love urban exploration. I'm a firm believer in conspiracy theories. I fold my toilet paper, not bunch it up. And, my favorite Disney movie is Mulan... Did I do that right?
11) What is the one thing that you wish more people knew about you? (Maybe a misconception you wish you could set straight, a talent you have, or something else.)
Now for some self-promotion!
I know you're probably all sick to death of hearing about Sinquiry, but just hear me out for a second. I'm not asking that you to follow the blog. I can understand if it's not your type of humor, but if you could please take a second or two ask us a question using the tab on the right side of the blog that would be more than appreciated. ANY question will suffice. You can indicate that you want to remain anonymous if you so choose.
The tab looks like so:
This link should work, as well.