While scrounging through my spam folder, I happened upon several comments that I've ignorantly overlooked through the ages. But of all the comments I perused, one truly shined above the rest:
In case you haven't read the post, Conception (and I strongly suggest you don't), it's a tribute to the struggle and exertion one often undergoes while experiencing constipation. Yes, the post is all about taking a poo.
Anyway, I'm glad someone finally appreciates my devotion to tackling the utmost important and controversial topics. With politics, global economic collapse, and rising tensions in the Middle East and Asia hogging the headlines of every media source, it's easy to lose focus of what's most important, and that's taking a poo.
Dear Anonymous, though you have a very odd name (Greek? Icelandic?), I acknowledge your wisdom and wish for all to view my words on poo through the same inquisitive eyes. I, too, believe people should "understand [my] side of the story."
Readers, take a look at your clock. For every second that ticks by, another victim falls prey to the agonizing effects of constipation. While you allow yourself to be distracted by who will be the next Leader of the Free World, you are taking attention away from the issues that truly matter. Poo problems, popcorn eating ediquette, and cat profiling, all very serious issues, are all swept under the rug due to your overwhelming ignorance.
My posts aren't meant to be taken with a grain of salt; reflect upon them and understand the importance of these vital and prominent issues. Frankly, I'm upset that this Anonymous (what an absurdly odd name) fellow—one who's not even a follower of my blog—was the first to built up the courage to reveal the truth. I urge you all to follow his brave example and raise awareness for the issues that matter.
Phew, I'm glad I was finally able to get that out there.
Sorry, I've had a busy week. Better posts are yet to come.