Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Job Listing ~Sidekick Wanted~


~HELP WANTED~

Though I emerged from the chemical waste grotesquely deformed, I had been blessed with unimaginable, supernatural powers. With a wave of my palm, Post-Its instantly reclaim their adhesiveness. With a simple whisper, the bland yellow tint of these sticky notes can be transformed into any color you desire. With a lick of my tongue, all transcriptions can be wiped from existence (strictly speaking Post-It notes*). Since the fruition of such incredible powers, I have been known by the prolific title, Captain Post-It!

I have thwarted the many schemes of the evil Dr. Organization and his Systematizer. I have triumphed over the corporations bent on world domination by salivating over each and every one of their Post-It reminders. And, I’ve protected citizens like you from buying slates of multicolored Post-It notes with a simple utterance.

It’s exceedingly obvious that each of you have heard my name beckoned from office space and work station alike. Captain Post-It! Come quick! My Post-Its won’t stick!

However, I’ve been notified by my publicist that a large majority of the population has not yet heard of my miraculous deeds which I find outrageously implausible. But, if she says so, there must be at least a fraction of truth to it. So, as a means to gain more exposure, my publicist has suggested that I hire a sidekick. She claims that superheroes with sidekicks practically double their publicity ratings.

So, without further adieu, I reach out to the working man to carry out the task of being my devoted sidekick!

Chiz had been gracious enough to allow me to use his blog to post my job listing. Therefore, you have permission to post your applications in the comment box below. All that's required is your proposed sidekick name, an explanation of your skill set or super power, and an explanation of how you feel you could prove to be a valuable asset to me. Oh, and any donations are welcome, as well.

Professional drawing by Chiz
(Credit for the application idea owed to Addman)

7 comments:

  1. I would totally be a side kick to Captain Post-It. My name would be the Post-It Kid and I would put Post-It notes back on the wall from whence they came. This would be a useful skill because it frees up the Captain to continue his glorious, and much needed heroic deeds.

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  2. You know mine already, PMT WOMAN!
    Able to whinge in a pitch that only dolphins and canines can hear.
    Able to wither away the gonads of any man with my "Oh no you didn't" stare.
    Able to leap onto the most innocent of words and turn them into grounds for world war 3, for I am PMT WOMAN!

    Not sure how all that would help as a side kick though.

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  3. I would be Encouragement Boy! I have the ability to clap like a seal when I see something I approve of. I have a double-jointed neck which gives me a floppy head for excess nodding, and I have a very long tongue. Of course, I wouldn't do any actual fighting, but I'll always be on the sidelines, willing you on.

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  4. I don't wanna be your side kick Captain Post-It but I do want to join the Captain Post-It club. I can dress up as a twelve year old boy and you could hang out with me! All famous Super-Heroes hang out with young children! (think Bibleman and Captain Tootsie!)

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  5. A sidekick name? Uh, hm. How about... Femme Fountain Pen?

    -Barb the French Bean

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  6. Do you hire chimpanzees? I know one who might be perfect for the job.

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  7. Why didn't I see this before? Damn it! I wanted to apply.

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