Monday, May 21, 2012

The Traditional Children's Game Trials: Part IV

The dark silhouette stood over me. I had already unloaded one shit into my pants, and I felt I was overdue for round two when the shadow offered out his hand. "I'm terribly sorry, mister. I thought you were part of the search party." He shook his head, "I mean game." The silhouette stepped out of the shadows and revealed itself as a young boy.

"I preble bleh mah." I struggled to find my tongue which was lodged somewhere in my esophagus. "Sorry, I actually am part of the game." The child looked perturbed. "I mean to say, I've been forced into this game, you see? I need to find this boy named Brendan, and in order to do so, I mus--"

"Brendan? What business do you have with a child? You're like 80-years-old."

I repeated an Inuit calming mechanism in my head to subdue the rage boiling inside me. "I'm seeing these visions. I hear Brendan is learned in the ways of paranormal phenomenon... And mayyybe, there might be some candy in it for him if he helps me out," I hinted.

"You're not making a strong argument for yourself," the child remarked. "Are you acquainted with a Mr. Chris Hanson?"

"Listen, Brendan. I need your help. I don't know what's happening to me, but I fear I may be losing my mind."

"Alright, alright. I'll see what I can do. Tell me of these visions you speak."

I went on to tell him every detail of the day's previous events. "It's seems you've made enemies with both the Red Rovers and the House of Manhunters. Building up your reputation so quickly isn't the best idea 'round these parts," Brendan cautioned. "It's a dangerous game you're playing, Chiz. If it weren't for these unavoidable circumstances, I'd suggest you leave town. But don't you fret, I know of the origin of these visions."

"You do?!" This is the best news I've heard since TGI Friday started offering two dollar drafts on Tuesdays.

"I used to know a man who had similar visions. He would wake in the middle of the night and venture to the pool. He would creep around the pool and swim cautious laps as if he were attempting to traverse the water unnoticed. When asked what the meaning of it was, he would simply respond, ‘Shh! I'm a minnow and if I'm not careful, the shark will have me for lunch.' The man believed he was being pursued by sharks. Strange as it was, I was intrigued with this man’s unfortunate syndrome. I studied his pattern every night until I discovered that his vision coincided with the rule set of the children’s game ‘Sharks and Minnows’. I came to the conclusion that this man was suffering from childhood nostalgia. He had trouble letting go of the leisures of his past. That’s when I confronted the man. Told him to, ‘let go of the past’. To essentially, ‘embrace the sharks.’” Brendan paused for a moment. “Know why it was so simple for me to come to this conclusion? Why I cared so much for this man’s debilitating condition? Because, Chiz, this man was my father.”

I looked at him in astonishment. I can’t believe this child really held the key to freedom. “S-so what do you propose?”

“Embrace the impending destruction of your childhood… Embrace the destructive power.”

A bead of sweat trickled down my face. Though, to my dismay, I soon found out it was not the revelation that caused my increase in temperature; it was the rapidly approaching lava that began to pursuing me from the rear. “It’s back!” I cried.

“Embrace the fire, Chiz!”

I turned toward the lava, but the heat was too intense. “Ahhh, it’s singeing my ball sack!” I screamed as I began retreating.

“Chiz! You can’t run forever! It will eventually engulf you in a fiery vengeance far more painful!” Brendan’s voice faded as I fled the cemetery.

Just like before, I was on the run from the persistent molten lava, and as before, I came to the conclusion that the water tower was my best bet. But, what about the Red Rovers? They’ll never let you pass. I clung the hope that the beast rested at this hour.

The water tower peeked its head above the trees. I was almost there and no sign of the Red Rovers. That’s when I heard someone scream, “There he is! The traitorous nerd!” I looked over my shoulder as three members of the House of Manhunters began their pursuit. Why were these children out this time of night?!

My legs began buckling and hope drained my body like… well, never mind. The water tower seemed so close, yet so far. But I had to continue lest I die a horrifically painful death. The nearer the water tower, the faster my legs moved. I can do this! I’m almost there! Only a few more… That’s when the Red Rovers emerged from the forest in formation. My legs slowed to a jog. And, if things couldn’t get worse, there was a familiar face among the formation… Billy…

My feet felt like magnets until I eventually stopped completely. Red Rovers in front and a vicious alliance of lava and Manhunters approached my flank.

“Chiz!” I heard Billy yell. “I’m sorry! I never meant for it to end like this!” his voice cracked. “I had no choice but to join Red Rover. It was the only way to gain refuge… to gain protection from the Manhunters. I’m sorry!” But, his words meant less to me than an infomercial selling masturbatory socks.

A hollow sound reverberated around my stiffened body. Echoes of blood cries and crackling fire meshed into a horrific, hellish resonance. The world was a blur as I attempted to grasp the concept of my certain death.

Just then the girl from the House of the Manhunters played in my head. What she said upon our initial interaction… “I'd like to think we've bestowed upon you a chance to prove yourself. To prove you aren't just one of them." She was right! Until now I had been one of them. One of the fugitives… one of the prey… constantly running from my problems instead of facing them dead on.

I felt a rush of energy lift me up as I proceeded toward the Red Rovers. I built up speed and I faced their formation with a new sense of determination. I could see fear in their eyes as my feet tore up the ground. I studied the line searching for a weak link. That’s when I noticed Billy nod as he let go with his right hand in defiance and a last act of camaraderie. The soldier next to him shot him a confused stare and gripped his lifeless hand. Now was my chance.

I lowered my shoulder and hit the wall. I could feel the two boys’ arms shattering against my shoulder as they fell to the ground. I paused and looked back. Billy was writhing in pain as he attempted to piece together his dismembered arm. “Go!” he yelled, “Now’s your chance!”

I looked back as the Manhunters and hot lava were still in pursuit. I reached the water tower and began scaling the ladder to the top. The Manhunters began climbing below me as the lava crashed against the water tower. I finally reached the top and looked over the edge, the world was engulfed in molten fire, yet nothing was being harmed.

“Embrace the fire!” I heard Brendan’s voice echo. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath… and then I jumped. Down into the lava I fell, but I could no longer feel the heat as I approached. I had finally come to terms with my loss, the end to my childhood. That’s when the world went black.

…………………………………………………

I awoke from slumber. “It was all a dream?” I thought as I breathed a sigh of relief. “All… a… dream…”

“No it wasn’t,” a voice interjected. I looked up and saw a woman in white. “You really jumped from the tower. Broke both your legs and released an unhealthy amount of your bowels.”

“Wuh?” I struggled to comprehend the situation.

“Sir, you are in the hospital. You seemed to have a life-threatening amount of LSD in your system... In scientific terms, you were tripping out of your fuckin’ marbles.”

“How could this happen? I hadn’t taken LSD intentionally in like 4 days!”

“Well, sir,” she continued. “We found this note on your unconscious body. Tell me if it makes any sense to you.” She handed me the note.
If you're new to my blog and a bit confused, here's the background story: IntroChoz 1Choz 2, and Choz 3.

"That doesn't mean you're out of the blue, sir," the nurse continued. "You still have pending assault and battery, manslaughter, and illegal substance abuse allegations."

The End?
Normal posts resume whenever the fuck I feel like, but most likely Wednesday.

34 comments:

  1. Well dude, I may or may not be the first commenter...depending. This was a great story and not all together unbelievable (the part about the LSD that is). I read all the posts one after the other since I have been in abstenia for a while. One last thing, if you really persue this Choz persona I fear for a psychotic break...which of course would be quite entertaining as long as you don't move any friggin' closer to me! And much like Woodstock-era warnings...don't take the blue acid! I return you now to your regular broadcasting.

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    1. It's always more entertaining to watch a calamity unfold from a safe distance. Don't you worry, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon (unless I wint he lottery, the one that I never play).

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  2. Apparently I was the first commenter...that is comforting.

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    1. Congrats on being the first commenter?

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  3. I don't know if I am the second or third commenter because Chuck commented twice...

    That's quite a story!

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    1. I'll count you as second commenter, you deserve it. And, it was quite the story. There was almost a 'to be continued,' but I knew people wouldn't appreciate that.

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  4. I would say what number commenter i am, but it has sorta lost its excitement now, hasn't it?

    I love your story! I can so see that being true (the revenge note and the LSD), hahah!

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    1. I judge how dedicated my followers are based on where their comment falls numerically, but then again, I don't really do that.

      Anyway, thanks. That damn Choz is getting to be quite the nuisance. Hopefully I don't hear from him anytime soon.

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  5. I am the fourteenth commenter, and I approve this post.

    Letting go of your childhood is a tough thing to do. That's why Toy Story 3 made me cry, but I'd never reveal something so emasculating on the Internet.

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    1. That's nothing. I balled my eyes out during that Pixar movie, Up. When he gave him that... *sniff*.. bo-bottle c-cap.

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  6. You seriously should not mess with your future selves. Especially if they have access to a fuckton of LSD. Though that was one pretty smart kid who told you to embrace the lava. You just didn't choose the best way of doing that.

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    1. You'd think it would've been easier to just turn around and run into it, wouldn't you? Bah, well, I was under the influence of copious amounts of LSD.

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  7. Great ending! I didn't expect Choz to pop up, that was a surprise. I love that it was all a product of revenge!

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    1. Oh yeah! I'd love to say this ending was predetermined, but I think it was far to evident that I was making this up as I went.

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  8. And I was wondering what you were smoking. What a trip.

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    1. It was quite the adventure indeed, minus all the jail time I'm looking at now.

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  9. That bloody Choz! I didn't expect to hear from him again. Well at least he's had his revenge and the nightmare is now over...isn't it? ♪DUN DUN DUN♪ ← That was supposed to signify dramatic music and not me randomly writing DUN DUN DUN...ok, I'll shut up now...

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    1. Indeed, this nightmare of a story is finally over. What was originally supposed to be one posts turned into 4 very long posts.

      That reminds me, I was fully intent on writing "DUN DUN DUN" at the end but completely forgot. Damn!

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  10. Head over to my site today and pick up the leftover of your LSD trip...there's a gift for you waiting.

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    1. Bah, I'm assuming you are referring to Led Zeppelin? I don't even need to be under the influence to feel like I'm tripping balls listening to that song.

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  11. Choz is back!

    I know what happens to people that let go of their childhood, and I don't like it. It kills the heart, you know.

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    1. Don't worry. I am very much intact with my inner child. It was the LSD trying to convince me to let go of it.

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  12. Classic Choz. An LSD trip born out of spite. You should drug him, and then send him to Mexico for a sex change, and then sell him into underground sex slavery. Nothing says revenge like getting violated repeatedly for 10 cents an hour (that 10 cents goes to YOU, of course).

    Or maybe that's a little TOO dark for a blog post.

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    1. Well, I think once I pass the threshold of ruthlessly murdering children; I'm pretty much clear to write whatever the hell I want. So, your suggestion is pretty suitable if I do say so myself.

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  13. OMG, run, Chiz, run, before the flesh-searing fire of lost childhood dreams consumes you!!!

    Oh, that's right...you can't, because both your legs are broken. :-o Damn that sneaky smartass 31st century Choz!

    I've never taken LSD because I believe I was born with a steady supply already inside my brain...drip...drip...drip...

    I am commenter number 536.

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    1. With an imagination such as yours, I'm not surprised that there's at least a little something sparking that creativity.

      But, damn that cursed fire. My childhood is speedily turning to ash.

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  14. I am the last commenter, do I get a prize? I must catch up with this crazy story :)

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    1. No, I am the last commenter. Muahaha. I'll award myself with a beer. Yeah, it's quite the lengthy story.

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  15. Chiz...I LOVE YOU MAN!!! I mean in a blogger sort of way, that is. You absolutely, positively, make my day, every day. *snickers*. I'm usually hard at work while trying to read these blogs so my responses are usually spur-of-the-moment feelings after reading it *giggles*. I usually think of something clever to say later *baaawaaa*. LMAO....

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    1. Hahaha, I do the same thing. I comment on peoples' blogs when I'm at work, and sometimes I don't have time to think of something witty. So I just write nonsense until I'm somewhat satisfied.

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    2. I loved your obituary blog. Is that really you with a shaved head because the 2 just don't look anything alike. You look like you are eating snuff, if you know what that means, lol.

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    3. Yeah, that was when my girlfriend screwed up cutting my hair, so we chopped it all off. I have a full head of hair now. I've gone through many stages of hair in my life, but as of now, I just have normal short hair. And, I have no idea what snuff means.

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    4. haha, I didn't think you would. "Snuff is a product made from ground or pulverised tobacco leaves". Back in the gravel road country of North Carolina my grandparents "dipped snuff" and I hated it. I think young guys now call it something else (I haven't even bothered to ask and don't want to know). Its an alternative to smoking I guess, haven't figured out what the attraction is yet and don't want to know either.

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    5. Is it like the equivalent to Snus? Bah, I tried dip before and gave it up after like 2 weeks. My gums always felt gross.

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