While perusing my room one day, I happened upon an ancient artifact I hadn’t seen in ages. I moved the 14 year old condoms and seashell collection that were disguising the relic. I picked it up gently and it erupted in a magical display of lights and sounds. On the bottom of the object it spelled out the words Lights Out.
I found it to be a challenging puzzle game, but despite the simplicity of the objective, I found myself not being able to put the dwarfish machine down. However, the longer I pounded my fingers against the rubber squares, the more I felt a sickening feeling that I was longing for some unknown thing I could not attain. The sensation got so intense that I decided to visit a doctor about the issue.
While sitting in the waiting room in the ER, I fiddled with the Lights Out. I rotated it around in my hands, smelled it, and even tasted it, searching for any signs of radiation or ancient alien viruses. The child sitting next to me tried to reach out and touch the strange machine, but I quickly reacted with a swift roundhouse kick to his upper body. He would probably thank me if he could just understand the negative consequences of physical contact with the machine.
“Chiz!” the nurse yelled. I got up and followed her into the doctor’s office. “Wait here please,” she said as she left.
Moments later, the doctor entered the room and I quickly shoved the Lights Out into my back pocket. “What seems to be the problem, sir?” he inquired while sensually donning surgical gloves. I proceeded to explain the situation to him. How I found a strange machine amidst my belongings; how I’ve had a strange pressure in my gut ever since. “May I see this relic you speak of?” I was hesitant to show him, but I bravely reached into my pocket and pulled it out.
The doctor gasped and grabbed his chest! “Doctor! Are you alright?” I panicked.
“You fool! I have contracted your nostalgia!”
“Nostalgia?” the word alone sounded life-threatening.
“Yes! You must leave this place at once! There is no time to explain! You mustn’t spread this disease to anyone else! May God have mercy on us both!” Just then, he picked up a scalpel and started waving it at me. I instantly fled the office and sought serenity in a nearby park.
I contemplated my situation and the unknown life-threatening disease I had contracted. Nostalgia was certainly coursing through my veins, and I could feel it. Just then, I had an idea. If I could only destroy this artifact, then maybe the symptoms would disappear.
So, I raced to the nearest volcano and entered its domain. I held the Lights Out above the lengthy drop into the pool of lava. I felt my fingers loosening when I heard someone behind me.
“Don’t do it! Give me the Lights Out!” I turned to see the doctor crawling toward me. Saliva dripped from his maw as he reached forth.
“No,” I cried, “it has caused us much harm and must be destroyed.” In saying that, I dropped the Lights Out. The doctor flew by me and dove for it, catching it in midair as both he and the devilish machine cascaded into the lava below.
After the traumatic experience, I found that I had no longer bore the symptoms of the debilitating disease, nostalgia.
And, then I saw a dragon. The End.
P.S. Sorry I’ve been away for the weekend and haven’t been able to view comments and other’s blog posts. I will eventually get to them all. I was just having a busy weekend. Also, I ran out of reserved posts; so tomorrows post will be in the afternoon as opposed to in the morning.