I'm so ridiculously out of fashuuuuuuuuhn.
If you saw this one coming you can go ahead and be sure to limber up before patting yourself on the back. Yep, a customary, run-of-the-mill zombie outbreak will accomplish nothing less than reignite that warm, fuzzy feeling that accompanies your first blumpkin.
When that first state of emergency broadcast hits the airwaves my only concern would be concealing that flood of excitement that is soon to follow. Firearms and ammunition will be stripped from every location in the area, but that’s okay because I’m seeking a more experiential approach to this fortunate event. That’s why my first pit stop would be an oriental souvenir shop where I would proceed to equip myself with the sleekest and most badass looking blade. What? The swords are only for show? Yeah, well, we’ll put that theory to the test.
I’ll first let the zombies weed out the unprepared where I will then proceed to relieve them of their firearms and provisions. It’ll be like going shopping on Black Friday minus the crowds. You’ll even get to retaliate by chucking a grenade or two at those customers that especially irk you.
But, it is pointless for me to continue on with listing monotonous reasons of the epicness of a zombie outbreak. It goes without saying that we all undoubtedly beam at the thought of this “catastrophe.”
I call dibs!
As long as you reside in the regions unaffected by the looming radiation, this end to humanity can actually be considered quite amusing. The challenge of restarting civilization from scratch can be a bit intimidating, but think of all the decrees that will no long be ominously threatening your freedoms. Exciting isn’t it?
I’m talking about the lawless state that can only be portrayed in Fallout, Mad Max, and Book of Eli. I want to recklessly zoom over desert land in a dune bug equipped with RPGs. I’m a big fan of urban exploration as is, but imagine if I could have that same experience in virtually every building.
Also, similar to the zombie apocalypse, I would don only the most epic armor and weaponry. I’d have no problem wandering around the vast, empty landscape with a sawed-off, samurai sword, and expensive shades. Oh, and a sweet mustache would top it all off.
Massive Sun Flare
I imagine it'd be kinda like this or something.
Well, as long as they aren’t too hot. I would like a massive sun flare to permanently disable all electronics in the world. We will soon discover the survival of the fittest. This is basically the same thing as the nuclear holocaust minus the mass destruction caused by esssplosions.
To see everyone on common ground would be quite the experience. No rich, no poor. Money can’t buy you shit. It’s shape up or ship out. Basically, I’d just like to see factions form and territorial wars fought at close range. No missile attacks or any of that nonsense. Straight up barricades, projectile weapons, makeshift catapults, banners fading in and out of flickering flames; you know, the works.
Wow! I don’t know what I’m talking about anymore. Anyway, it’s only the first letter of the alphabet so I got 25 more to go.