Monday, April 2, 2012

B is for Board Games

Board Games. It goes without saying that these sinister diversions wipe out friendships and construct hate temples in their place. Hatemples? Anyway, how is it that such a trivial pastime can devastate social constructs? Video games don’t have that effect. A brief exchange of words usually followed by a rematch is the worst a video game can conjure up. But, why is a board game so different?

For one, it could be for the reason that we invest so much time in them. There aren’t many board games that last short than 20 minutes, and even still, there are several that can consume an entire afternoon. If you lose a video game, a simple “fuck it” usually suffices as you throw the controller at the wall, but if you spend 4 hours of your life trying to defend Australia in Risk for the entire game, you can actually feel the pain of your little soldier pieces as they dissemble, leaving your stronghold in ruins. You spent all those hours building up for what you believed to be a perfect strategy only to find out that you’re just really not that smart. It’s devastating. It’s a lasting hurt that ends your day.

Or maybe it’s because multiple players can allocate the pain amongst themselves. Unlike a video game where at most 4 friends can play while simultaneously glued to a TV, a board game can suck in numerous souls and pin them against each other while forcing them to stare each other in the eyes as they destroy each other’s empires. Empires that have taken hours to build crushed by the very friend that sits on the other side of the table. Even worse, come harsh times, alliances are forced upon everyone. Friends group off into secluded factions and only talk amongst themselves as rage runs rampant in the opposition. Bonds are cut and mended in lackluster fashion; friendships will never be the same.

Maybe it’s because failing at the game is the equivalent to failing at life. Monopoly and Life are perfect examples. You are allotted a certain amount of money to do with it what you will. It is on you to make the right investments. The board game is like a crystal ball that predict your future success. Did you invest wrong in Monopoly and end up bankrupt? Well, it looks like you might as well donate all your money to charity and get used to living in a box down at South Station. But, if you are surrounded by stacks of colorful, counterfeit bills, you’re in line for success. You know how to play the game; therefore, start planning your dream house because you’re not going to have to do jack shit for the rest of your life.

Just pray that the victor isn’t a business, finance, or whatever major because they will flaunt their superior knowledge of capital investments and assets and such. If a college education counts towards anything, it’s board games.
I work on Wall Street, and I lost?!

46 comments:

  1. There should be a degree in board gaming! :)

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    1. I agree. With concentrations such as Monopoly and Stratego as well.

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  2. Did you say board game? Or invitation to a fist fight?

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    1. It's pretty much the same thing, right?

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  3. I love playing board games, but they do sometimes cause arguments - the last one I remember was when me, my brother and my sister played monopoly together one Christmas a couple of years ago. My brother accused me and my sister of cheating (we weren't!) and it caused a huge argument!
    About failing the game: I've become resigned to the fact that whenever I play monopoly, I'm going to lose. Badly.

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    1. I'm no good at Monopoly either. That's probably why I still live at home. I am terrible with money.

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  4. This is why I box - not because I like to stay in shape or want to stay safe on the streets, but for when I inevitably win at Monopoly, the table is flipped over in rage, and an all out brawl ensues. Bar fights have nothing on a competitive person losing at a board game.

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    1. I've always wanted to box, but I live in a suburb where there is are no boxing gyms in sight. I feel it would give me the upperhand in board games.

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  5. Fist fights and board games. That could be the title for my next novel.

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    1. As long as you give me 90% of your royalties, that'd be fine. Just kidding, but that would be an interesting novel to say the least.

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  6. Good post! I agree board games can cause a few arguments. If we play a quiz board game in our house and wine is involved...there can be a few words said, followed by someone storming out of the house! So said person is no longer invited to such games hah!

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    1. I wish I could univite people to board game gatherings. There are just some people that are totally unacceptable to lose against.

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  7. I LOVE board games. My friends and I still have old fashioned board game nights, even though we're probably too old for them now. Clue is the best though.

    Happy A-Z blogging!

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    1. Clue is great. One can never be too old for a board game followed by an enraged, heated debate.

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  8. I love most board games. Some of them are too convoluted and time consuming, however. I've got one son who likes this kind, especially. Ugh

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    1. I sure he loves Risk. That game can take up an entire day.

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  9. Personally, I think the spelling is wrong. It should definitely be 'bored' games. Great post though :)

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    1. But, they are fun before the competitativeness comes out and punches are thrown.

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  10. I love board games. We have a whole bunch of them at home. It hasn't ruined any friendships so far.:P
    great A-Z post!
    Nutschell
    www.thewritingnut.com

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    1. Wow! That is quite impressive. And, thanks for visiting!

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  11. My parents used to have a game night when I was about 8. We would alternate between scrabble, monopoly and parchese (sp?) It was a lot of fun.

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    1. I think you're safe from animosity when it comes to playing against your family. I used to play board game with my family when I was younger too.

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  12. Sure beat WORDS WITH FRIENDS and FARMVILLE. When did folks stop playing games in person, anyway? ;-)

    Popping in as an A to Z Blogging Challenge participant. Please feel free to visit and comment on any of my blogs as well, leaving a link to your own post, so my readers can find you too!

    All on Blogspot.com and all in the A to Z Challenge

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    You can click my name/icon for links to all these blogs!
    Happy A-to-Z-ing!
    Linda Ann

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    1. Since people became fearful of social interaction. It's a shame.

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  13. I spent a lot of youth (mostly at family gatherings) playing board games. Mostly Monopoly and Life. Never really got into Risk but had friends who geeked out over it. Thankfully most of my playtime was out doors so I wasn't one of those closet albinos that never saw the sun.

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    1. Yeah, but you have to play Risk at least once in your life. That games definitely has the highest 'risk' of altercations.

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  14. Board games are amazing. It's hard to find someone to play with. They prefer video games. Monopoly is the best. It just doesn't get old. I never know what I am doing, but I always seem to win.

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    1. You must be doing something right because I rarely walk away with a victory when it comes to Monopoly.

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  15. board games are so much better than video. during spring break i cut off my boys from it for alotted time and they opened stratego that one got for xmas. they did a tournament (as they love competition!) and played for hours w/o fighting! it was beautiful!

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    1. Stratego is one of my most favorite board games. I played the crap out of it when I was younger.

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  16. ps, husband not allowed to play monopoly!

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    1. Is he that competitive or that good?

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  17. Hi, I love board games too. Have played them ever since being a little girl and am now almost 79. Nothing can excel playing them when it comes to games.
    Thanks for the great post.
    Ruby

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    1. You are most cetainly welcome, and although board games create rising tensions amongst friends, there is nothing better that coming out on top.

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  18. OMG I love this post! I love all board games ... except Monopoly as it is sooooo boring, unless you cheat and play it like I did with my sisters. I remember huge argument with friends over a truth/relationship board game which I can't for the life of me remember the name of just now.

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    1. Monopoly is centered around betrayal and deceit.

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  19. Ah! I love board games! :D
    Having a board game night on Friday this week too! Totally the cool thing to be doing! :p

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    1. Board games are still fun as hell. They just usually get out of hand when a competative person roles the dice.

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  20. I don't think I've ever fully finished a game of monopoly. Whenever I play, it always comes down to two players (me and someone else) who own the properties equally, and we can't seem to get out of the stalemate. Once we played for nearly 6 hours before we just called it a draw.

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    1. You guys should just work together and form a Monopoly. Are those things still legal in Euroland?

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  21. I love board games. My mom used to buy a new one every Christmas. Made for some great memories. The only game that could really make me angry was Sorry. That farking annoying way that someone would look at you and say "SARRR-EEE" when they sent one of your men back home. Irritating!

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    1. I know exactly what you're talking about. I actually laughed out loud when you mentioned that.

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  22. Don't smoke a joint and play Trivial Pursuit. You'll lose everytime.....just sayin. *ahem*

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    1. Bah, I can barely perform normal, every day tasks when I'm high.

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  23. Oh and game over...you lose!!!!

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    1. Bah, I lost the damn game! Curses!

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