Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Untalented Celebs Have Won the Game

Despite the overwhelming hatred the world shares for talentless divas such as the Jersey Shore cast, the Kardashians, and the however many spoiled housewife shows there are, they all have an additional trait in common: they know how to play the game. Not to say that I don't harbor a hatred so intense that it could take on a life of its own and destroy Manhattan, but I must shamefully admit they know how to play the fuckin' game.


They have no viable skills or talents; so, what is it that gains them their overwhelming success? I’ll tell you. It is their ability to flaunt their own stupidity. Yep, you heard me correctly. It may seem paradoxical, but these celebs are actually manipulating the game with their idiocy. In the case of these celebs: if you don’t got it, flaunt it.

Then, why are we buying into such foolishness? Because we’re part of a nation stacked to the brim with silly retards. The fan base of these shows are those who like believe that you can become famous by doing absolutely nothing but eating cheese balls and smelling of retard.

So, is it truly acceptable for us to hate them for their discovery of this loophole? Absolutely, for it is not to their knowledge that they came across this cheat, but by their lack of intelligence that restricted them from actually contributing to society that caused them to accidentally stumble upon this secret. They're essentially the equivalent to lost sheep that happened to wonder into a ditch full of even more retarded sheep that are willing to share their very limited supply of dry corn. 
Take a look at that whale carcass that learned to walk on land, Snooki. She is playing the game, and she is playing it hard as a mutha fucka. As she began to fall from grace, she got pregnant. She essentially beat the game. She’s easily going to gain a solid 2 months of media coverage followed by at least a year’s worth once that poor baby calf is conceived. We allowed it to happen. We should’ve taken the bottle away 4 seasons ago, but we failed. We are no longer “the home of the brave” as we have failed to stand against this evil, malevolent plague.
No one told me she's having triplets! Oh, she's not?
However, hate as we will, there are just too many cacaheads in America to put a stop to this avalanche of idiocy. The most we can do is hope that they are truly so stupid as to run their riches into the ground and pay harshly for their injustices to the human race. Or we can look to Paris Hilton who has actually been in the game so long that her stupidity has actually begun to deteriorate her physical appearance. She is milking the cow stupid so to speak.
"You never go full retard"
P.S. If you're looking for a definition of what "the game" is, I'm sorry because I don't know. It just sounded cool. 

17 comments:

  1. Agree right down the line...never ending glut of shows with each one more stupid-based than the last.

    PS. Please get rid of the word verification thingy...it makes my head hurt. You really don't need it. In my 3 years blogging I have never received one spam comment. I just approve comments before I publish them. The way to go.

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    1. Oh, I did know I had that thing set on. Yeah, I'll remove it because I know how annoying it can be.

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    2. Alright. The word verification should be gone. Let me know if you still have the same problem.

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  2. The whole celebrity culture used to bother me. It's difficult, but if you can successfully block it out, you'll be a lot better off. I only learned last month what a Kardashian is.

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    1. Ah, damn. You were better off those months before. But, I don't watch TV all that much anymore. It's just whenever I do, this is what I see.

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  3. Haha, it's funny. I've been peeking at the Jersey Shore lately on Netflix (haven't been able to get past the 2nd episode) and that shit is really . . . really . . . bad. And of course, I found the Situation entertaining because he did a look at the camera bit like Jim from the Office and now my husband is going on and on about how I'm into the situation. like it isn't embarrassing enough that in the privacy of my own home I switched the brain bleeding show on.

    Oh my gosh, I'm sorry. I just re read that and sounded like a fucking valley girl. See what this shit does to me?!!?! I have to stop before I get sucked in.

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    1. I've often done this before. I switch to one of these shows and talk shit about it the whole time, then the next episode will come on and I do not change the channel, but rather continue mocking the show. Are these marketing schemes working on me?!

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  4. I don't own a television. I really don't and this is one of the many reasons why. I got rid of it about 4 years ago and haven't missed it once. We watch Netflix on our computer and rent or buy DVD's. There are no idiot celebs, no constant talking heads on news channels and no adverts. I also have more time for my hobbies this way and more money to spend on them. It's a win-win for me.

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    1. It truly is ridiculous how much shit you can get done when you don't have the television to distract you. Once I get my own place, I'll probably bypass the whole cable thing as I too have Netflix, and that's all I really need. Also, there's plenty of free internet TV out there.

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  5. I don't like "the game" they play, which is why I stick to watching Comedy Central and reading books. I feel as if I can somehow cling to my dwindling I.Q. points that way. :P

    -Barb the French Bean

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    1. Comedy Central rarely fails to deliver, and when they do they cancel the show after one season. And, I think I trick myself into thinking I'm smarter than I actually am after reading a book. I start using words completely out of context just because they sound cool.

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  6. Like Anne, I don't have TV either. And this is why.

    Scientists conducted a study and found that people who watch more sophisticated, intelligent TV (documentaries, investigations, explorations, etc) actually gained slight IQ points, while those who watched idiotic TV (Jersey Shore, specifically) lost IQ points. It literally makes you dumber. Because rather than learn, your mind is content to just watch stupid people do stupid things.

    And I get it, it's fun to watch stupid people do stupid things, but Mike Judge wasn't too far off with Idiocracy. It'll only be a matter of years before TV is reduced to nothing but farts and people getting kicked in the nuts.

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    1. I was actually thinking of Idiocracy as I was writing this. But, now that I know that these shows are actually detrimental to my IQ I will attempt to steer ever more clear of them.

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  7. Boy, are you ever spot on with this blog!

    I watched a Comedy Central torrent of a Donald Trump roast. One of the so-called comedians was that douche from Jersey Shore, The Situation. This no talent hack stank up the place!

    While watching this show, and feeling embarrassed for a guy I cannot personally stand, I was reminded of my father's words regarding TV. In fact, his words are more apt some twenty years later and are: Television: breeding ignorance and feeding radiation.

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    1. Yeah, I heard about Situation's failed attempt at being funny. I hadn't seen it before, but I just looked it up on YouTube. I'm usually the guy to let out a pity laugh, but if I what part of that audience, I don't think I'd manage to pull it off.

      And, those are some brilliant words. I couldn't agree more.

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  8. I don't even bother watching crap like this. But I totally get now why they are so popular. Dumbasses! :)

    Universal Gibberish

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    1. You must have an immensely high IQ then. But, seriously, I tried to pop on MTV so I could listen to shit music while I made breakfast this morning and Jersey Shore was on instead... at 6:00am.

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