With the release of the Swindle and iPaddle, bookstores across the nation have been closing at an alarming rate due to their inability to realize that they should’ve jumped on the eBook bandwagon long ago. But, it’s not like literature is at a decline as the Kindle and iPad allow for easy access to billions of downloadable books. So, why do I give a fuck that paperback book are disappearing? Because I like carrying that thing around with a big, fat bookmark complete with glittery tassel accessory shoved ¾ the way into the book. Why? Because it serves as a statement. It shouts: Yeah, I’ve read through most of this book which means I’m pretty much better than you.
The beanie and scraggily beard says, "Imma rape you," but the book says,
"Imma do it softly."
Isn’t that why people to read after all? So, they can have the satisfaction of becoming the center of a conversation by throwing in a “yeah, I’ve read that in a book before,” “the book was so much better than the movie,” or “I don’t really watch TV” (all of which are usually not the case). Wait… That’s not why people read? Ah, well I’m going to continue with my rant because I got nothing else to write about today.
For the past month I’ve been trying to locate the second book in a trilogy I’m trying to complete that’s, so far, coming up to no avail. The only bookstore I know of is the tiny bookstand at the train station by my workplace, the same one where I bought the first book of the trilogy only to discover they won’t stock up on the next two books in the series.
I miss the large bookstores where you couldn’t walk a foot without an employee beating information out of you in order to assist you. At this bookstand, the employees look like they read books. In fact, they are full-blown hipsters so they must right? Yet, when I inquire about a book that is usually world renowned, they give me an enthusiastic “iunno wuh tha’s” to which I must politely respond, “what the fuck is that central processing unit mainframe supercomputer in front of you for?” This standard process usually ends up with me leaving the stand empty handed with a lack of effort on their part. It makes me want to remove their nonprescription glasses, poke them in the eyes, and fart on the cash register.
But, Chiz. Why don’t you order the book yourself? Because technology scares me, and I’m lazy or some shit. I don’t know just; let me finish my argument.
Now, I have to buy a Kindle. How the hell am I supposed to let people know I read with a piece of hardware they can easily be mistaken for an Angry Bird gaming console? Plus, I don’t think I’ve ever bought a book that shatters on impact when I drop it.
My favorite book is Netflix.
Bah, futuristic, space technology scares me. Sophistication is all I ask for.
P.S. I got a new layout for the blog. If something irks you, let me know and I'll fix it. Also, if you know how to center the Header/get rid of it, feedback would be appreciated.