When you visit the city, where do most hobos resides? Sure, they live on sidewalks and back alleys. They nestle together in dumpsters and nudge themselves between small gapes. But, the most common place that one will encounter a hobo is in the subway. 'Tis so unorthodox ineth that articulation, Sen. Chiz? I'll tell you what's so strange, Shakespearean dude. In order to gain access to the subway system, one needs to pay an entry fee. Yet, hobos don't have the financial stability to sacrifice such funds. So, how do the hobos gain access to the city's underground transportation?
I've come up with a strong-standing hypothesis. It's quite obvious if you truly give thought to it: Hobos... are plants. How else could they be found in subways? The only reasonable explanation is that they grow within the tunnels themselves.
If that logic doesn't convince you somehow, then why do hobos smell like fertilizer? It's quite simple really. Most synthetic fertilizers consist of nitrogen, phosphorus, and potassium. Nitrogen is present in essentially all meat and poultry products as well as milk. Phosphorus, also present in poultry, can be found in wheat and bran products. And, anything made from chocolate to beans contains potassium. Trash cans in subway systems harbor every one of these products, continuously emitting a natural fertilizer to which hobos are born.
Still not convinced? I'm not done yet. Copper is a fundamental nutrient of plants. Why do you think hobos are always asking for change? They can perfectly thrive off the natural fuming fertilizer from the subway; so, they obviously don't need it to purchase further nourishment. It's so they can stimulate their growth with the copper that can be found in coins. They are not necessarily approaching you to beg for the change; they are more so attracted to you much in the same that a plant is attracted towards the nearest light source.
Wow, you guys are still unconvinced? What the fuck? Ah, anyway. Here's another fact. Subway passengers breath oxygen, no? Well, when you're at least 50 feet underground, where do you think the oxygen comes from? All the trees lying around? Get real. The oxygen is emitted from the hobos that consume our carbon dioxide as nourishment. That's why you will never see a hobo in an area void of humans; it's because they must absorb our emissions. That is why we are able to breath so far underground.
So, if that's not enough to convince you ignorant people; then, I don't know what to say. I'm just pointing out the facts that lay before you. Do with them what you will, but I'm sticking to my theory.
Perfect growth conditions.