Wednesday, February 29, 2012

My Demented 1st Grade Journal and an Award!

So, I happened upon a 1st grade journal of mine. Back then, we were required to write a 2 to 3 sentence excerpt a day.

I must say, not only did I have a way with words, but I was quite the rhetorical genius. Below are a few excerpts I handpicked to analyze (edited because the words would be indecipherable to any human being but me).

Today my favorite color is blue. I am happy and it is sunny outside.

One would think that my favorite color that day was blue because the clarity of the sky on that sunny day emitted a soothing, cerulean glow. But, thorough analysis proves otherwise. Under these seemingly harmless, enlightening words lays a sinister message regarding society. Notice how I said today’s favorite color? It’s conveying the impression that my preference adjusts on the daily. Or, perhaps I was a metaphor. Is it possible that I wanted my audience to regard myself as an ingredient in our critical culture? Allow me to explain. Society’s concealed fashion jury is the deciding factor of what’s considered fashionable. It goes without question that what we regard as beautiful changes frequently. Fitness is replaced by curves which is trumped by anorexia. Meanwhile, the sun, or otherwise known as the social media, is creating a diversion that blinds us and makes us ignorant to the injustices forcing us to conform to unattainable changes in style. On the cover of a magazine, an anorexic alien lookin’ mutha fucka stares at you with its bug eyes, but turn the page and OOO LOOK AT THAT CHEESECAKE! Onto the next one…

It is raining today. Giraffes are good, cool animals.

This observation almost makes me want to cry. The rhetorical argument shines forth like a radiant unicorn atop a rainbow. So, I seem unfazed that it’s raining outside, correct? That’s because it’s raining on a daily basis in our society. Every one of us tries to be unique but constantly fall short. We try to be like giraffes in the animal kingdom. We try to break the mold and stand tall above the rest. But, it’s difficult to see the kindhearted efforts of others through the dense rain that limits our sight. This dense rain is the media continuously blinding us with frivolous news on supposed celebrities and murderous politicians. Will there ever be a headline of the man who saved an orphanage? Only if it can find an umbrella to shield itself from the constant flow of selfish, egocentric news. You see what I’m saying? …? …….? No? Ah, fuck it, on to the next one…

I wore a white shirt today. My friend’s name is Ed. We have history class today.

Do I need to spell this one out? It’s obviously a warning of the approaching war in the Middle East and gay marriage.

Bah, anyway. That’s enough for today because my stop’s coming up, and I’m like super tired and stuff. Besides, I think I’ve made my point quite clear.

But, in further news!


It's always good when a fellow blogger recognizes us for our work. That's why I was especially pleased to see that Anna Smith over at Universal Gibberish bestowed upon me this generous award. I'd like to thank Anna for the consideration and for getting my blog out and about. She's a very inspriational blogger, and I hope you all take the time to check out her blogs.

The award is for those lesser known blogs such as mine that have fewer than 200 followers. Blogs such as mine can especially appreciate this award as I suck at promoting my blog and would truly enjoy the company of others. That's why I'm incredibly appreciative that Anna, a blogger with much more experience than I, took the time to read my blog and give it a shoutout.
To accept the award you must do a few things:

1) Thank the person that nominated you on your blog and link back to them.
2) Nominate up to 5 other blogs for the award.
3) Let them know via comment on their blog
4) Post the award on your blog

1) Addman at Muppets for Justice - By far one of the funniest blogs I've ever read. I never walk away from my computer with a clean pair of underpants everytime he posts a new topic. If you're following me, then chances are you've stumbled upon him before. For those of you who have had the misfortune of not knowing about his blog until now, do yourself a favor and follow this comedic genius.

2) Elton Edgar at Elton Says Things - He probably has over 200 followers. I may be breaking the rules, but I don't know how to view how many followers he has so I'm going to include his blog anyway. If I'm not mistaken, this is the first blog I followed once joing Blogger. It's difficult to have me laughing out loud over written material, but this guy went above and beyond. I actually ended up in the hospital after reading his material. The doctor said I fractured my funny bone (bum bum tsss). But, forget my lame jokes and check Elton out (and read his blog).

3) Your Dirty Bird at Living In An Estrogenic Flux - A personal blog riddled with humor, angst, and everything in between. Dirty Bird is not afraid to speak her mind, and her blog always has something to snag your attention. Her site presents a fresh spin on blogging, and is unlike any blog I've seen before. I recommend you stop by her blog and delve into the mind of Your Dirty Bird. Plus there's sweet-ass gifs and jpegs always on display.

4) Ash-Matic at Ash-Matic Does Things - A blog that never fails to deliver. Hilarious posts teamed with equally hilarious, short comics make this hilarious blog hilarious. Very unique writing style that shows much dedication. How he doesn't have more followers is beyond me. Follow this blog if you think funny stuff is funny... and stuff.

5) Anne at Anne's Attic - A multi-talented blogger who is humorous and artistic. I'm lucky enough to include her in this post because she is just under 200 followers (which won't be for long). She has a style of writing that is uniquely her own, and she has quite the wide-range of imagination. Follower her blog in order to witness all the colorful awesomeness of her site.

I wish I could put more blogs, but unfortunately I can't. Also, if you have over 200 followers you're obviously not on here.


  1. Analyze this:

    Congradulations on getting that award! Way to go! I like blue giraffes!

    (If you want more advice on how to increase your blog traffic, follow bloggers that comment a lot on peoples post. If you look at my comment section and Annes comment section you'll see lots of the same bloggers commenting! Its like where one big blogging family!)

    1. I see the message you are conveying. I too see a dark, unsettling future ahead of us as well.

      But, I'll definitely be sure to follow your advice. I've noticed frequenters on a few blogs now that I have yet to follow. I'll be sure to get on that. Thanks for the info!

  2. Chiz, your child self is an utter genius. Can you go back in time and ask him how to sort out the economy? He'd no doubt know the answer.

    Also, thanks very much for the award, you delightful little ragamuffin. I will display it proudly. I might even make it into a t shirt, who knows? Thanks again though, I'm very honoured to be recognised by a fellow funnyman.

    1. I'll keep digging around in that journal for the answers to life's problems. It's a pretty lengthy piece. And, no problem. You deserve the award you... you upstanding adult citizen!

  3. Wow. Thanks, Chiz!

    I let my sense of humour come out of the corner to see your kind words, and it started to blush - so I sent it back, stupid thing.

    Your younger self had an excellent grasp of Zen. And even better taste in ungulate herbivores!

    1. You're welcome. You deserve the award. And yes, I do have a taste for ungulate herbivores. I just had some deep-fried gazelle this morning.

  4. This is a very interesting post!

    1. Why thank you! And thanks for visiting my blog!

  5. Thanks for the kind words. I think you need to publish this journal. It will kick Freud's butt.

    Universal Gibberish

    1. No problem. Thank you! And, yeah Freud's just some pseudo-intellectual who's knowledgeable of big words. My younger self is far superior.