Monday, February 27, 2012

Annoying Things That Children Draw


It’s no surprise to those of you who follow my blog that I get worked up over trivial things, and this post is no exception.

Today’s rant: Children’s annoying, drawing habits.

Why does this irk me so? Because I have nothing else to complain about in my life so I actually have to go out of my way to piss myself off. If I ever pursue my dream of becoming a preschool art teacher, I will do everything in my power to abolish these errors in perception. Anyway, without further ado, here is a list of the top annoying, drawing habits committed by children.

Drawing a mouth underneath the beak of a bird.
Are children’s perception of reality so tragically skewed that they can’t recognize that the beak is in fact the mouth of a bird? Maybe this is why so many of my pet parakeets died when I was longer. I must’ve tried to force feed them food through their neck. Any picture noticeably flaunting this obvious mistake would immediately be deemed an F in my grade book.

Animals with all legs drawn on one side of the body.
I’m beginning to see the frightening portrayal of the world that these children are cursed with. Mutated dogs with evil grins. What kind of sick individual would draw such an unsightly beast? Obviously some disturbed entity who takes pleasure in the dismay of other living beings. Any picture displaying such horrors would earn my student and F along with a free ride to a psychiatrist. Poor lost soul.

Drawing smoke as a grey, spiral line.
Now, come on kids! I think you guys are just screwing with me now. Instead of a pluming, billowy cloud of smoke you see a scribble mark in the sky? You guys better start getting your act together. There is no room in the real world for such ignorance. Perhaps children are on drugs and maybe actually do perceive an alternate reality…. F.

Hands drawn like circles with spikes.
Horrifying. Maybe it’s a message to us adults. We’re all monsters who use our grotesque raptor hands as instruments of evil. Are we the ones at fault for our children’s disturbing view on reality? They are trying to let us know something. I know they are. Maybe I am the one who is looking at life through a foggy lens. Anyway, I’m still giving it an F because I don’t like when people subliminally force their opinions on me.

Ah, I can’t go on. I’m beginning to see the world for what it truly is. Anyway, what needs to be done is that we must reincarnate Bob Ross. We need his talent and flawless “happy little trees” to conquer the airwaves once more. Bob Zombie must assert his dominance over the art world and right these children’s imaginative minds. They are too creative for their own good. 

The only reason I truly wrote this post was to draw like a child.

8 comments:

  1. OMG, this is the funniest thing I have ever read. (And I am so glad you were not my art teacher, because I could not handle all those F's and F-'s.)

    best,
    MOV

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    1. Sweet! Thanks for the feedback, and thanks for visiting my blog.

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  2. It's rather worrying that I still tend to draw like this. Great post!

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    1. Perhaps you see the world for what it truly is. Blasphemy!

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  3. I have hands like that last picture, and my legs are sticks with two smaller sticks for feet :P

    Universal Gibberish

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    1. Oh, boy. Similarly to Addman, you may be seeing reality through a clear lens. I'm beginning to see that I'm the one out of place.

      P.S. Thanks for stopping by!

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  4. Actually everything does look like that. You can't see it cause your mind is controled! Kids can see through the mind control and see reality the way it is. Adults can't.

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    1. It's the damn media fat cats and their manipulative devices. Curse them!

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