Tuesday, January 10, 2012

"Avoid Ghetto" GPS App Controversy

Synopsis: Microsoft creates an app for GPS devices that steers the driver clear of “ghettos” and high-crime areas. It is controversial due to its “racist” nature.

Let’s start off by weighing these options: Would you rather be politically correct and drive your Prius down the streets of Detroit while Miley Cyrus plays over the radio, or would you rather avoid getting masta blasted in the fuckin’ face and have your lifeless body flung from your car as it’s driven to the nearest dealer by its new owner?

I’m sorry, if you answer yes to the latter then you are a no-good, dirty racist pig like me. According to this article, the correct answer is to plaster a big, dumb fuckin’ grin on your face as you drive through Compton absorbing hollow points to the fuckin’ larynx.

Of course, in today’s society, it’s more important not to offend someone than it is to be face raped by a gun barrel for the change in your pocket. I mean great job on AOL’s part in trying to suggest a probably way of decreasing America’s overpopulation, but I would much rather plug this app into my GPS than be on the wrong side of a bazooka (ghettos get their name from 'bazooka').

“It’s pretty appalling,” says Sarah E. Chinn, author of Technology and the Logic of American Racism. “Of course an application like this defines crime pretty narrowly, since all crimes happen in all kinds of neighborhoods. I can’t imagine that there aren’t perpetrators of domestic violence, petty and insignificant drug possession, fraud, theft, and rape in every area.”

Valid point Chinn; Farmville even has its fair share of crimes. I suppose the mystery of who stole an apple from Ol’ Booradley’s Orchard equates to the petty crimes that happen on the daily in Flint, MI. But, let’s be crazy for a second. Let’s just assume that one of these areas outweighs the other in crime rates. Would you want mini-Chinn driving through Pedophile Lane, Rapeville, MI? Let’s not dish out a hasty response; remember it’s important not to offend anyone. Take a second to think this over. If your daughter drives through an area so condensed by Family Watchdog threats that the air smells like chloroform, you’d be fine with that wouldn’t you Chinn? Who gives a shit if anything happens, as long as you don’t offend anyone.

Believe me, I've driven through areas I certainly did not belong in because I was lost or my car broke down. It's not fun. There's a difference between racial profiling and just plain common sense. If there's a bunch of 6 year-olds playing soccer in the middle of the street at 2 in the morning on a school day while their parents reload M16 cartridges on their front porch, it's time to cash in your fucks and turn around.

Ah, anyway. Before I take this too far, I think I’ll give this subject a rest. So, the conclusion is: it’s essential to be politically correct even if it means deepthroating a few bullets. I guess. Bah, it’s bed time.


  1. I can see where this app might be useful. But it's usually pretty obvious when you're coming to an unsavory place where you shouldn't be--then again, not always. Not racist, but just practical.

    Tossing It Out

  2. Very true. Well I live in a peaceful suburbia. However, my town has an area where most of the crimes take place. The neighborhood's demographic is predominantly white too. So this GPS app isn't necessarily racist considering all demographs can be included. But, yeah I see what you're saying, but in the case of being lost in a high crime area, it's hard to program your GPS to take alternate routes. So, I see it as practical also.