Friday, December 2, 2011

So-Called Great Thinkers

(unrelated) There is nothing more frustrating than being denied Magna Cum Laude because of a philosophy class. Not that it was really all that important, but Philosophy! Really! I took this class because is useless, and you can bullshit your way to an A. I was on the path to getting an A (which I need to get Magna Cum Laude) until I received my most recent test score, which most likely bumped my grade down to a B. (unrelated)

But, surprisingly, that’s not what angers me most. It’s the fact that the teacher favors these philosophy majors in my class for their superior wisdom (or so they’re taught to believe). I can’t help but notice that these philosophy majors chose this line of study only because they are at a loss of something they actually excel in. Half these students were little pompous shits before they enrolled in college, but now that they’ve been taught how to be “great thinkers,” they’ve found the great poop fountain of enlightenment which supposedly allows them to critically analyze all aspects of life through a third eye. Alright, I shouldn’t be the first to say that everyone has the cognitive capacity to thoroughly analyze some aspect of life and shit out a bogus conclusion that’s never been thought of before. That doesn’t make you a “great thinker” it just makes you an asshole with a depressing sense of superiority.

Dear Philosophy Majors,

I realize it’s ignorant of me to include you all in this concentrated cloud of poofahts. I know there are some of you who study this field for the same purpose that someone studies history. But, I believe that you must realize by now that that’s the case, for there isn’t a broad base of careers in Philosophy. Again, I apologize to the truly “enlightened” ones.


Now that that’s out of the way, the rest of you assholes need to cut the crap and erase your passive superiority complex. You’re not an individual in a world of sheeple. Everyone thinks the same thoughts as you, you’re just too arrogant to realize. Stop judging people for being “simple-minded” and start using your “incredibly advanced state of minds” to philosophize the fact that everyone thinks as you do but are humble enough to keep it to themselves.

P.S. Don’t get me wrong, Philosophers have shaped the way we incorporate modern science. However, ignorant as it is for me to say, modern science can no longer be improved by philosophy, only first-hand experimentation of proposed hypotheses. And, don’t say hypotheses are a form of philosophy; that would be like saying “where’s the shitter?” is philosophical question.
Sorry I’m such an asshole.

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