Friday, December 23, 2011

Pokemon Red/Blue "Secrets"

So I’m assuming (or least I hope) that the demographic for readers of my blog are of a mature age. Since that’s most likely the case I’m going to talk about Pokémon today!

I was recently thinking back to my youth and how revolutionary Pokémon was when it came out. I waited in anticipation even when the television only whetted my appetite with commercials bearing no game play but only cartoons of monsters being trapped in cages.

Anyway, the topic of this post has more to do with the effects of Pokémon on the internet community. Does anyone remember while searching for secrets/codes/cheats for Pokémon the absolutely ridiculous, lengthy, disturbing articles you came across? Some of you may know what I’m talking about, but for those who don’t, there were several websites that came out during the period of Pokémon Red/Blue that claimed to reveal secrets in the plot. Anyway, some of this “secrets” claimed that if you did some absurd feat in the game, something incredible would happen that would so divert you from the main story that your head would spin.

A few of the “secrets” I remember reading were:

<!--[if !supportLists]-->1)      <!--[endif]-->If you pressed left and right really fast when you are approaching Prof. Oak after beating the Elite Four, you could break free from the cut scene and move to the side of the trophy room. In the bottom right corner of the room, there is a door that would lead to a whole new Pokéland for of new monster and tougher gym leaders. It’s like two games in one!

<!--[if !supportLists]-->2)      <!--[endif]-->If you do some devastating shit, the next time you return to your house your mom will be dead. But, here’s the twist, her tormented soul will be waiting for you. You will have to use your bench players to take out this bitch’s ghost because for some reason she’s pissed at you. When you beat her, her soul comes to rest and you win shit or something.

<!--[if !supportLists]-->3)      <!--[endif]-->Then finally, the most fucked up one I remember. You do some more devastating shit like catch ‘Missingno.’ and throw him into liquid shit or something. After that, you return home, and your mom says she’s been raped by Prof. Oak. So you go to his house and beat this mutha fucka up. But, he has an arsenal of ridiculous Pokémon, some the likes which have never been seen. Then you beat him, but your Mom’s scars will never heal… since she’s now pregnant!

Anyway, those are just a few of the fucked up “secrets” my fragile mind had to read when I was a wee-little-lad. So, did Pokémon revolutionize games, or did it make way for disguised smut to creep into innocent children’s minds? 

By the way, I searched for a while, but this is the only site remotely similar to the sites I was talking about:

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