Friday, November 4, 2011

Mirk and Soda

While ordering my fourth Dunkin Donuts coffee of the day, I noticed an unfamiliar employee working the counter. I ordered my usual “medium-blueberry-iced-coffee-with-milk-n-sugar.” It wasn’t hard to tell that this old woman was straight off the boat. She copied my order back to me to verify if it was correct. “You want a brooberry ice coffee wit mirk and soda.” Wait… soda? Well since she probably wasn’t accustomed to American culture, I replied, “no, sugar.” To which she replied “what kind?” I hesitated and said “regular sugar?” So she left the counter and headed to the fridge and pointed at a Coca-Cola. I didn’t really know what to do. Just then, a follow employee, who was probably smelling fahts in the back, came to my aid and corrected her. I finally got my coffee and exited the building to the sounds of learning.

I sipped on my coffee in enjoyment as I galloped back to my wonderful job. But then I stopped… “No fucking way,” I thought. Little did I realize, that foreign lady was a freaking genius! They make coffee flavored caffeinated beverages; why not make soda flavored coffee then? It would have the roasted flavor of coffee mixed with the fizzy kick of a soda. I should’ve fucking listen to her. With the combination of my lack of business sense but amazing skill of bullshitting and her surreal sense of innovation, we could make millions... Fuckin’ billions.

On the realization of this, my world collapsed. I awoke in a blurry daze and stumbled back to Dunkin Donuts only to realize that the foreign lady wasn’t there… her coworkers had no recollection of her… the foeign woman never worked there… Did I encounter an angel?

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